I thought I knew where I stood, no more than thought: I knew where I stood. So why now was I having a crisis of faith, conscience or whatever you’d like to call it? I had a sense of being brainwashed by my captors.
By now I was unsure how long I had been kept in a solitary cell, with just my interrogators for the occasional company. Although I still hadn’t confessed to the real reason for my mission I was being worn down by their constant insistence that the country lock down was right.
I had tried to keep a tag on the passing of time, but day by day my ability to maintain any sense of day and night started to fall away. I had no watch, and since being apprehended had not seen the natural light of day either. For all I knew it could have been any time of the day or night as I sat in my cell with my mind whirring through a list of events and disconnected thoughts.
‘I stand for freedom, freedom of thought, freedom of movement, freedom to love and be whoever you are. I stand for the moral values of my country from before, from before this new government who started, or rather empowered, the propaganda war’ I said out loud to the walls. Not a wise move. By now I should have known that nothing went unheard and within minutes my guards were back to drag me to the brightly lit room for a further discussion / interrogation. By the end of this one would I really know where I stand, or stood any more?